“For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.”
I have been going through old photos trying to find pictures to share from that time in my life when I was extremely obese. Something hit me as I studied each picture. I am either standing behind someone, holding a child, or not looking at the camera. I actually laughed when I realized that I thought holding a child in front me would not show how big I was.
I knew I was hiding. But who was I hiding from? Everyone around me could see me for who I was. Why did I think standing behind someone would hide that I was overweight? If I didn’t look in the camera, would it mean you didn’t see me? Of course not!
Obviously, I was hiding from myself. If there was no proof of how big I was maybe it wasn’t true or maybe I just wouldn’t have to deal with it. I really struggle with seeing my true self in the mirror. I’m assuming back then I didn’t see myself as big as I was. Even to this day I don’t see myself at a healthy weight. It is not until I see an actual picture that I see what I really look like.
Why is that we hide? Are we fearful? Is it because we feel shame? Is it because we don’t want to have to deal with something? I guess it could be all of those things. Nothing is harder than having to come face to face with something in your life that you know you need to fix.
For me, it was my weight and health. But honestly, it has been so much more in my life. I can hide behind my hair and makeup because I am insecure. I can hide out in my house because people give me anxiety. I can hide behind confidence when I know I am fearful. I can hide behind a sweet and joyful attitude when deep down I’m angry and annoyed…haha!
We have been hiding since the beginning of time. When Adam and Eve sinned by eating the fruit from the tree of life they hid in the garden from God. I can laugh at myself for hiding in pictures thinking nobody can see me but did Adam and Eve really think they could hide from God? I think hiding can just be part of our nature but we don’t have to stay hidden.
First, we need to figure out what are we hiding from. Second, we need to decide if this is something we need to change. For example, I might hide behind my hair and makeup but I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. My mama taught me to look good at all times and my husband is thankful for that. 😊 Third, if we realize we do want to come out of hiding, we may need to seek help.
So, as they say in Hide and Seek “Olly Olly oxen free”…which means, you are safe to come out of hiding.
“Can a man hide himself in hiding places
so I don’t not see him?”
declares the Lord.
“Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?”
declares the Lord.